A Stygian Flight
A Stygian Flight
The Welcome Here is wearing out
This house is not a home
The sanctuary of this invitation is building a wall inside my heart
I cannot guarantee that this is progress
The faded garden path
Flawed architecture
As though I should have known earlier
As though I should have been able to detect
That they were a barrier against me
As though all these choices stood before me
But the devil spun me ‘round
Screamed in my face
And a demon changed the backdrop
Locked in a cave
Till the sunlight distracted me
Till the sunlight drew me out
Given this moment
It was beautiful
Golden light and greenery
Blue skies that let me go
Fresh air tempered by freedom
And the perfect peace of mind
But then began the whispers
Behind my back
Directed at my spine
Like daggers
White hot hate
Scalding my skin
Boiling my spinal fluid
Tapped
To run through the veins
To eat at the heart of all I am
To inspire decay through the grey matter
A poisoned root
Has wrapped around my bones
Drilling through and eating my marrow
Nutrients replaced with pain
With hands on my temples
I pushed through to find my own
But for every step I took
The screaming pushed me back
And then
The storm rolled in
Thunder black and bitter clouds
Lightning strikes and stark white hail
Holding broken barometers
Compressed by air
Glass laced in each finger tip
Sewn with the skin
Bizarre claws
Bloody paws
Bloody fingerprints to conceal my identity
So no one can acknowledge me
Cathedrals would cast me out
Label me a heathen
The stand alone complex
Forced to build a cavern of my own
Piling dirt around me
Whatever lies within arm’s reach
Resulting in a lack of space
A tachrichim made of dirt
Tears making mud that hardens into clay
Lock me in my room
You don’t want me here
Cry in fiction
Lie in life
You’ll never see the truth
I tried to show them once
I built it all inside
What gravity’d destroy
What oxygen’d decay
So many things I wish to be
Lacking the substance to build my dreams
Cowering in darkness
Where breathing can snuff the candle’s flame
Painting animals on the walls
To prove civilization once lived here
What is this life of thine?
It is the life of swine
Digging in the soil
War. Paint. Camouflage.
Clothing picked from catalogues
Worn with pride from being same
‘Cause being separate causes shame
Separation brings you glory
So they tell you
So goes the story
But glory’s not so easy to claim
Not like instant, pointless, mediocre fame
But thoughts build me bitter
Leave me cold
I cannot settle until I’ve met my match
My equal
But all the rest fester under my skin
Make it hard to walk in the light of day
At least now there is pressure
There, there will be none
And I am a steam engine
Locking, machinery movements
Pent up, I will explode
Released, I cannot move
The whistle
The hiss of water
An indication that it is time to go
I cannot go till the pressure’s built
A sweep across my forehead to wipe the sweat
Eyes closed, I look to heaven
Waiting for the brush of time
The winds of change
Striving with all I am to believe
There is more than this
I am more than that
That there you are, waiting
Waiting for the extraordinary hiding inside of you to find the extraordinary hiding inside of me
Devolving into love
Devolving into rants of how the world is wrong
Wallowing in my own guilt over my own trench
When I know it’ll never change
Waiting for the change
Fearing tunnels that end in darkness
Fearing where I am
Messages that repeat on forsaken islands
Watching the fan turn round, picking out a single blade
Hours tick in agony
A past I cannot understand as I morph each time
A new creature of the same old race
Wearing the wrong form and face
Spending a life out of place
Waiting to be caught by my own mistakes
Unable to see the path as it curves around the bend
Disappearing into fog
Disappearing into the blackest night
Waiting for the sky to fall
Endless, endless, endless
I hope they’ll make me forget
I hope they’ll let me live
I hope they’ll build in me the difference that I need
The Welcome Here is wearing out
This house is not a home
The sanctuary of this invitation is building a wall inside my heart
I cannot guarantee that this is progress
The faded garden path
Flawed architecture
As though I should have known earlier
As though I should have been able to detect
That they were a barrier against me
As though all these choices stood before me
But the devil spun me ‘round
Screamed in my face
And a demon changed the backdrop
Locked in a cave
Till the sunlight distracted me
Till the sunlight drew me out
Given this moment
It was beautiful
Golden light and greenery
Blue skies that let me go
Fresh air tempered by freedom
And the perfect peace of mind
But then began the whispers
Behind my back
Directed at my spine
Like daggers
White hot hate
Scalding my skin
Boiling my spinal fluid
Tapped
To run through the veins
To eat at the heart of all I am
To inspire decay through the grey matter
A poisoned root
Has wrapped around my bones
Drilling through and eating my marrow
Nutrients replaced with pain
With hands on my temples
I pushed through to find my own
But for every step I took
The screaming pushed me back
And then
The storm rolled in
Thunder black and bitter clouds
Lightning strikes and stark white hail
Holding broken barometers
Compressed by air
Glass laced in each finger tip
Sewn with the skin
Bizarre claws
Bloody paws
Bloody fingerprints to conceal my identity
So no one can acknowledge me
Cathedrals would cast me out
Label me a heathen
The stand alone complex
Forced to build a cavern of my own
Piling dirt around me
Whatever lies within arm’s reach
Resulting in a lack of space
A tachrichim made of dirt
Tears making mud that hardens into clay
Lock me in my room
You don’t want me here
Cry in fiction
Lie in life
You’ll never see the truth
I tried to show them once
I built it all inside
What gravity’d destroy
What oxygen’d decay
So many things I wish to be
Lacking the substance to build my dreams
Cowering in darkness
Where breathing can snuff the candle’s flame
Painting animals on the walls
To prove civilization once lived here
What is this life of thine?
It is the life of swine
Digging in the soil
War. Paint. Camouflage.
Clothing picked from catalogues
Worn with pride from being same
‘Cause being separate causes shame
Separation brings you glory
So they tell you
So goes the story
But glory’s not so easy to claim
Not like instant, pointless, mediocre fame
But thoughts build me bitter
Leave me cold
I cannot settle until I’ve met my match
My equal
But all the rest fester under my skin
Make it hard to walk in the light of day
At least now there is pressure
There, there will be none
And I am a steam engine
Locking, machinery movements
Pent up, I will explode
Released, I cannot move
The whistle
The hiss of water
An indication that it is time to go
I cannot go till the pressure’s built
A sweep across my forehead to wipe the sweat
Eyes closed, I look to heaven
Waiting for the brush of time
The winds of change
Striving with all I am to believe
There is more than this
I am more than that
That there you are, waiting
Waiting for the extraordinary hiding inside of you to find the extraordinary hiding inside of me
Devolving into love
Devolving into rants of how the world is wrong
Wallowing in my own guilt over my own trench
When I know it’ll never change
Waiting for the change
Fearing tunnels that end in darkness
Fearing where I am
Messages that repeat on forsaken islands
Watching the fan turn round, picking out a single blade
Hours tick in agony
A past I cannot understand as I morph each time
A new creature of the same old race
Wearing the wrong form and face
Spending a life out of place
Waiting to be caught by my own mistakes
Unable to see the path as it curves around the bend
Disappearing into fog
Disappearing into the blackest night
Waiting for the sky to fall
Endless, endless, endless
I hope they’ll make me forget
I hope they’ll let me live
I hope they’ll build in me the difference that I need
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