The Disconcerting Tide
Burning
Fueled by this dry, gasoline ache
When I cut my skin
It hurts
But I don’t bleed
My head tells me to stop
My brain denies what my heart seems to need
My jaw hurts
And sits unset
It remains one of the things I’ve said nothing about
And yes, I have an excuse.
But no one really cares
Move
Push
Please
Please wake up
Please go to sleep
Please pass away as it passes you by.
Thoughts will not form in my head
My pen lies still
And rests though it has lost no strength
With nothing to regain
There is activity around me
But I take no part
I seek not to stir
And remain silent
Unquestioned
My mind is awake
My foot sleeps
And neither seeks a purpose
There is numbness
That creeps up my leg
And crawls down my spine
I am voiceless
I have nothing to say
I seek solitude when surrounded
And when alone
I wish you would seek me out
I have worlds waiting for me
Unfinished
Unpolished
Filled with the half-born
Waiting for my focus
When I have none to bring to bear
I wish to exist always
With pen and paper in hand
Better prepared with nothing to say
Then a word to speak
And no place to carve it
Empty actions
Filled with empty emotion
Cold detachment
Frozen from my touch
The queen of stone I have surrounded myself with empty glasses
I seek someone to sing about
A soul to write to
Love letters crafted in my careful hand, I would hold them forever just waiting for you to take them
But the Time has come and gone.
I’ve missed my chance
Or you have
Or it never existed
It has been enough for me
Since it doesn’t matter in the end
I wish it could be a better way
Sesame sunshine on a rainy London day
The Volley holds no interest
Real and symbolic
An aquatic hallucination in this land of sand
Bourbon pouring on my skin and matches in my hands
The Great Nothing
The Massive Delusion
The Story of the Failure as told in Lifetime made-for-TV format
Watched by cats
Swimming in my empty porcelain tub.
I wish I could have been more than what I was
The Story of the Failure lives on
Told in ragged breaths
Rice paper ripped by tears
And though haunting remains in the aftermath
I cannot think the action wrong
I cannot find the fault in taking what I want
And I repeat this and repeat this
As though I mean to convince myself
But I’m sorry
For in this alone
My path is clear.
Some day, one that may be far past all real things, you will understand:
The Story of the Failure is not meant to remain
Fueled by this dry, gasoline ache
When I cut my skin
It hurts
But I don’t bleed
My head tells me to stop
My brain denies what my heart seems to need
My jaw hurts
And sits unset
It remains one of the things I’ve said nothing about
And yes, I have an excuse.
But no one really cares
Move
Push
Please
Please wake up
Please go to sleep
Please pass away as it passes you by.
Thoughts will not form in my head
My pen lies still
And rests though it has lost no strength
With nothing to regain
There is activity around me
But I take no part
I seek not to stir
And remain silent
Unquestioned
My mind is awake
My foot sleeps
And neither seeks a purpose
There is numbness
That creeps up my leg
And crawls down my spine
I am voiceless
I have nothing to say
I seek solitude when surrounded
And when alone
I wish you would seek me out
I have worlds waiting for me
Unfinished
Unpolished
Filled with the half-born
Waiting for my focus
When I have none to bring to bear
I wish to exist always
With pen and paper in hand
Better prepared with nothing to say
Then a word to speak
And no place to carve it
Empty actions
Filled with empty emotion
Cold detachment
Frozen from my touch
The queen of stone I have surrounded myself with empty glasses
I seek someone to sing about
A soul to write to
Love letters crafted in my careful hand, I would hold them forever just waiting for you to take them
But the Time has come and gone.
I’ve missed my chance
Or you have
Or it never existed
It has been enough for me
Since it doesn’t matter in the end
I wish it could be a better way
Sesame sunshine on a rainy London day
The Volley holds no interest
Real and symbolic
An aquatic hallucination in this land of sand
Bourbon pouring on my skin and matches in my hands
The Great Nothing
The Massive Delusion
The Story of the Failure as told in Lifetime made-for-TV format
Watched by cats
Swimming in my empty porcelain tub.
I wish I could have been more than what I was
The Story of the Failure lives on
Told in ragged breaths
Rice paper ripped by tears
And though haunting remains in the aftermath
I cannot think the action wrong
I cannot find the fault in taking what I want
And I repeat this and repeat this
As though I mean to convince myself
But I’m sorry
For in this alone
My path is clear.
Some day, one that may be far past all real things, you will understand:
The Story of the Failure is not meant to remain
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