Reposting this, thought it might be interesting. And you can leave comments now.

Enjoy.


I hate seeing movies with other people in the theater, except my friends. So the following is either things I hate or suggestions for making it better. You should be able to tell the difference.

1. Don't open packages of food during the movie. Open them ahead of time. You don't have to eat them right away, but it's annoying when you hear that stupid crackling sound.

2. When you do finish your snack, don't sit there and crumple the wrapping for the next hour of the movie. Just set it some where (like the seat next to you or the floor) and take care of it later.

3. Go to the bathroom before the movie starts. If you can't hold it for two hours, then sit on the end of the row so you don't have to walk in front of forty people going "excuse me, sorry, excuse me, sorry". It's obnoxious.

4. Do not ask questions about the plot. Movies generally tend to explain everything if you payattention and wait it out.

5. If you're going to talk do it quietly to the person next to you. Whisper, and I mean whisper, directly into their ear. But only if you know them.

6. Clever comments are acceptable, but only if they're clever. If you're a moron who can't make a joke to save your life, shut up.

7. Cellphones and beepers have vibrate modes for occasions like this, use them.

8. Don't go to the movies when you're sick. No one wants to hear you sneezing or hacking up a lung.

9. Parents: sit in the row behind your children, not the one in front of them, not the one seventeen rows away.

10. Teach your children to be quiet in movies. I have no problems making a kid cry by yelling at them to shut their mouth.

11. If the movie is inappropriate for a kid, don't bring them. Take the fifteen bucks you spent on their ticket and pay a babysitter.

12. If you want to make out in a movie, fine. But do it quietly. I hate that sucking sound. And no moaning.

13. Don't yell things at the screen. The actors can't hear you, especially the animated ones.

14. Don't slurp your pop. Once is acceptible, but that noise it makes is natures way of letting you know you're out of pop. And don't shake the ice, you're still out of pop.

15. When the movie starts, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!

16. Don't kick the seat of the person in front of you. I have no qualms about getting up and kicking you back. I don't care how old you are.

17. If there's a person in the seat in front of you, don't put your feet on it. If there's no one, go ahead, I don't care.

18. Don't spit things.

19. Don't throw things.

20. Don't fart. And if you do (I know, sometimes you can't help it), don't cheer and congratulate yourself. Same goes for burping.

21. Don't sing along.

22. Don't say the lines out loud.

23. If you've seen the movie before, don't say things like "oh this is the best part" because when you say things like that, it makes it the worst part, it becomes the part you missed because the asshole next to you was talking.

24. If you didn't hear a line, quietly ask the person next to you to tell you what it was. But again, only if you know them. If you came to the movie by yourself, wait for it to be released on video. It probably wasn't that important.

25. If you find something amusing (i.e. Titanic when the guy bounces off the propeller, or Jack dying. haha, those parts were awesome), go ahead and laugh, even if no one else is. Laughter is accebtible, unless you have an obnoxious laugh, in which case, resort to a chuckle.

26. Remember, the things that are annoying when other people do them are just as annoying when you do them. It's a movie. No matter how much it sucks, be nice to the people ruining their lives in the seats next to you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

There is no such thing as "racism"

The Razor

Spy vs. Spy

The Two Seperate Categories of Evil and Ken Jennings