Cast the Bones
I write words like spells.
To pull me from my skin, to Slide
To set each cell and capillary aflame as my soul bursts from its cell
I listen to the music that will drown me.
Like rushing tides that pull me beneath the caps and rolls of waves
A crystal blue prison that will make me panic as I feel a darkness close around me
Like winter to enfold me
Like a night to claim me
Like all the horrors you can imagine
Like all that, but wonderful instead
I think it’s wonderful.
And I feel no shame in this.
Only desperation when it goes and I cannot follow
Only despair when I wake from haunting dreams and see the sun shining in my eyes
To touch Heaven, to touch God
My Heaven my God
And then strip it away like flesh flayed from the skin
Like a knife that cuts its tracks down my arm
To feel fibers sever and muscle tear and nerves that scream
Nerves that scream like I scream when my eyes open to this place
Every moment of agony
Every moment of it agony
Books weigh like anchors on my feet
To pull me to that darkness
Music and words and the magic of movies
Even the mindless droning buzz of a television
Gateways and drugs to cross me over
And always I come back.
Life is a race
No, life is just the track.
A snake that bites its own tail
And lap by lap we run.
I have finished my time.
I have run my lap.
I stop mid-stride to stare at hills in the distance
Wafting, waving, rolling arms of green
To sit in the dark before a fire, under a blanket of stars and pull my cloak around me
To eat the Quester’s Meal.
Bread and cheese and apples and wonder if my snare has caught a rabbit
I fear the noises that may be pursuers
I take the first watch and swing my blade, determined to master the magic before it is necessary to use it.
I contemplate my companions and wonder if they worry as I do
Worry if we will succeed
I stop mid-stride to stare at the lives I cannot have
I stop mid-stride and collapse in agony
The runners go by and no one stops
I scream and wail and pound my fist against a yielding surface
No one stops
I cannot escape this track.
I cannot reach those rolling hills.
But no longer do I force myself to run.
I write words like Spells and cast them to the flames.
I break my skin and set my soul free.
To pull me from my skin, to Slide
To set each cell and capillary aflame as my soul bursts from its cell
I listen to the music that will drown me.
Like rushing tides that pull me beneath the caps and rolls of waves
A crystal blue prison that will make me panic as I feel a darkness close around me
Like winter to enfold me
Like a night to claim me
Like all the horrors you can imagine
Like all that, but wonderful instead
I think it’s wonderful.
And I feel no shame in this.
Only desperation when it goes and I cannot follow
Only despair when I wake from haunting dreams and see the sun shining in my eyes
To touch Heaven, to touch God
My Heaven my God
And then strip it away like flesh flayed from the skin
Like a knife that cuts its tracks down my arm
To feel fibers sever and muscle tear and nerves that scream
Nerves that scream like I scream when my eyes open to this place
Every moment of agony
Every moment of it agony
Books weigh like anchors on my feet
To pull me to that darkness
Music and words and the magic of movies
Even the mindless droning buzz of a television
Gateways and drugs to cross me over
And always I come back.
Life is a race
No, life is just the track.
A snake that bites its own tail
And lap by lap we run.
I have finished my time.
I have run my lap.
I stop mid-stride to stare at hills in the distance
Wafting, waving, rolling arms of green
To sit in the dark before a fire, under a blanket of stars and pull my cloak around me
To eat the Quester’s Meal.
Bread and cheese and apples and wonder if my snare has caught a rabbit
I fear the noises that may be pursuers
I take the first watch and swing my blade, determined to master the magic before it is necessary to use it.
I contemplate my companions and wonder if they worry as I do
Worry if we will succeed
I stop mid-stride to stare at the lives I cannot have
I stop mid-stride and collapse in agony
The runners go by and no one stops
I scream and wail and pound my fist against a yielding surface
No one stops
I cannot escape this track.
I cannot reach those rolling hills.
But no longer do I force myself to run.
I write words like Spells and cast them to the flames.
I break my skin and set my soul free.
Comments