Primordial

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Primordial

I am the middle ground
I desire neither hot nor cold
Tepid greets me best

Neither wrath nor joy,
I cannot hate
I cannot love

I am not black
I am not white
I would be grey
But I lack the skill to choose one thing

This nor that
Here nor there
I am not anywhere
I am everything that is nothing
Surrounded by choices I cannot accept

When moving I do not think
When thinking I cannot move
I am myself only when I stop to remind myself that I have made choices before

But those times are rare
Hidden by the choice to make no choice
To walk the tight, taunt rope

I am not left
I am not right
I am not gone

But neither am I still here

Stagnant and brewing
Salt water
The source of life
And it’s destruction
But what?
A future
A past
I cannot go
I cannot stay

I cannot express
But the bottle is already full
I cannot cause myself pain
But yet I remain, living in it
Hypocrisy
There and back again

I cannot finish what I’ve started
It is a wonder that I’ve started
So slow to move
Seeking silence in a crowd
And when alone, I am alone
So I’ll seek them out

But still, I lack the will to move.

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