Cathedral

-
Cathedral


My heart wanes
_____And breaks
With the weight
_____Of my self-imposed
Despair.
Such blasphemy I speak

Of faith
_____I have none
For I have not
Taken the time
To decide what I believe

There is sacrilege
_____In these walls
_____Sanctimonious in sanctity
There is decadence
On this hallowed ground

I hold Lust
_____in my head
Gluttony
_____in my hands
Sloth
_____in my limbs
Greed
_____in my heart
and Pride
_____in my pen

I am a Waste
Of a life
Of the care
_____and kindness
That went into my creation

_____If only
Blood flowed as readily as ink
_____to hollow my shell
_____(May it catch up with my words)
But it marks me a coward
My actions are of fear
_____And yet
Fear keeps me from the actions

I am a waste
_____Of divine inspiration
Because I waste it
_____(And I waste away)

What is the better
_____To pick
To choose
_____And follow blindly
_____With faith that is pure
_____but cares only for the surface

Or is it the worse
_____To know only
_____That you have faith
_____But not bother
_____with what it is in

Alas
_____that I will always be alone
For I seek another to make me whole
_____Afraid to exist on my one
Afraid that acceptance
Will lead to a permanent state

To become
One with God
When I do not know him
To become
One with another
When I do not know myself
_____(and cannot advertise
_____as the parts you are seeking)

My faith has led me here
To this
_____Delusion
_____Degradation
_____Distillation
Disillusion
To this disillusion
To these stones
_____where they keep their religion
And I fear what I seek
_____is not here
I have met
_____Inspiration
But
_____Comfort
And
_____Assurance
Have forsaken me

My heart does not lie here
My faith is undetermined
What ever light
_____That I imagine I hold
Will not see me through this darkness

I seek a sign
I care
_____Not
How it appears
But simply that it is
_____Unmistakable
So that I may see
_____That a path lies
Nearby

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