Ec's Abandonment

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Why did you build me Broken?
On legs I cannot stand
Why have you instilled me with Hope?
Dream a future that cannot come

I have been granted visions of the glory of the universe with no method to reach the stars
I have been given desire with no hope of satisfaction

My hands quiver with bloody rage as I smell the fear in the wind
It is the past that has run ahead of me
And I just recall it now

Kneeling in a pile of dirty clothes
Staring at a bin of garbage while my mother washes dishes

I made a pact with you
I swore an oath

And I’m sorry that I failed
But I cannot see when there is no light
I cannot breathe when there is not air
You do not speak
So I know only silence

And I feel nothing but the space in my chest
The hole where my soul should be

My heart merely keeps the beat
Pumps the blood
It offers no sense of life

What agony you have brought to me
Selling in the shape of knives
Blades that I have plunged into my breast

I have slit my throat
I have cut my wrists

But my blood is too frozen to move
And what point is there anyway?
Fear would keep me glued

My favorite spot is six feet beneath the ground
But where is the shovel with which to dig?
It is with my courage, forgotten and left behind, in the past, in a place I cannot reach
Because what bravery could escort me?

I close my eyes to the visions of a thousand new worlds, contained inside my mind
I cannot reach my own creations and the desperation has driven me mad
It is not insanity to believe
It is insanity to fail at something that takes no effort
What blind man cannot see the darkness?
What fool cannot be lied to?
How hard is it to live with comfort and never bother with questions?

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