The Razor

I know, I know.

It remains the oddest freakin' thing about me.

I'm terrified of sharks.

More than terrified, really.

And I can't watching them in movies (excluding Deep Blue Sea).

But I love, LOVE watching documentaries about them.

It's so entertaining.


I think the main difference is intent.

In movies, the sharks are given motives and motivation.

They "want" to kill humans. They stalk their prey.

And in documentaries, we're just following along with their natural behavior.

As I've said before, I actually like sharks quite a bit.

But I'm still scared to death of them.

If for some reason, I ever ended up in salt water, just floating...?

It's just....so terrifying that I can't even comprehend what my reaction would be.

My brain would be stuck, overloading between panic and all the things I shouldn't do.

And on top of that list is continuing with this particular topic.


So right, in movies.

There are so many flaws in these things and many have effects so unrealistic, that it just doesn't make sense for it to bug.

Like Jaws.

While a shark could theoretically get that large (it was what, 20, 25 feet), it's highly unlikely and hasn't been documented yet.

Also, one shark would never need to feed that often in such a short time period.

And though one could "learn" that humans offer an ample food supply, most just don't like the taste of us.

And behind the physical impossibilities surrounding the shark dragging a boat for so long, one would never bother to attack a boat more than once, let alone chew through it because it "thinks" there's food on it.

A. They're not that determined. B. They're not nearly smart enough.


Granted, sharks are exceptional predators and second-best in the sea (just below Orcas). But only because they are highly instinctual and have the skills that such talent allows.

They are nowhere, NOWHERE near intelligent.

So, in short: sharks are stupid, but just because I'm terrified them in highly irrational ways, doesn't mean I'm stupid too.

Adios.

(oh, and the title is a song by Head Automatica. check it out.)

Comments

Anonymous said…
"beating Heart Baby" is the song
"The Razor" is a different song.

Though "Beating Heart Baby" is a good one. So are "Solid Gold Telephone" and "King Caesar"

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