Atlas.
It's so hard deciding what to post sometimes.
I've reread a bunch of the posts and it suddenly doesn't surprise me why no one reads this.
To be quite frank, I often have nothing good to say.
There are many cases where's it's just pointless prattling.
I get the subtle feeling that it degrades my intelligence.
A friend of mine told me I should write more poetry.
A good suggestion.
Except that writing poetry is very hard for me.
I know, the shock.
unbelievable that writing, in any way, could be difficult for me.
But honestly, half the time I don't even like poetry.
I've started feeling better about it, though, since discovering some poetry I liked.
I hate the childish, rhyming ones.
I don't mind poems that rhyme, I've written some myself.
But poetry for me is often like music.
I know whether I'll like it or not by the first couple lines.
And I hate when lyrics are forced.
Like when lines are there because someone thinks they have to be, because it's part of a saying.
Like they put "you want to have your cake" so the next line must be "and eat it too."
It's irritating.
And it's even more irritating when it's a forced rhyme, and you couldn't even come up with words.
For example (and this is quoting an actual song): "can't stop thinking of your face, a-la-la-le-lu-le-lu-lace"
Can't you just imagine the writer going "um, like, what, like rhymes with face? cuz, like, I totally can't think of anything."
But there's good poetry too.
I like E.E. Cummings and T.S. Eliot.
Beowulf is good.
And if you pay close attention and know how to read it, Hamlet rhymes.
(I don't really count Shakespeare as "poetry" but if you do, then you can add it to the list of ones I like)
Naturally Dante is on there as well.
I'll admit though, a couple of those about mentioned, I haven't read any of their work or only a little.
But I have the interesting ability to know what I'll like without even seeing it, only hearing about it or reading a synopsis.
Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle: Knew I'd like it, but would find some of the jokes obnoxious in their crudeness.
Which was true. And I own the movie now (bought it without even watching it).
Knew I'd like Vanity Fair, and I did (though many of you will think that was an odd choice for me).
Heck, we buy books all the time without reading them.
Although, I have bought books (and will in the future) because I liked one of the books in the series and am compelled to buy the rest so that I have a complete set.
Of course, I did that with the Lord of the Rings too. Hated the Fellowship, but loved or liked the other two. And while I only have the VHS of Fellowship and the Extended editions of the other two, I know that I'll end up buying the extended Fellowship.
Because, I know it's odd, it really bugs me that it's not a set.
There is a series of books I bought simply because while working at the bookstore, I got tired of it staring at me.
I know that sounds crazy, but if you've ever worked in a bookstore, then you'd understand.
When you're stacking books and your eye keeps catching on one, then you're forced to notice it. And it was a book I knew I wouldn't like. The plot is incredibly similar to a lot of the animes and manga I avoid. A mysterious girl with a traumatic and mysterious past. There's something odd about her but she doesn't know what. Encounters a mysterious evil who recognizes who or what she is. Mysterious girl must stop mysterious evil while answering the question of her mysterious past.
It's the idea that there are only so many plots, so inevitably we write the same ones over and over.
Which is why I admit that I am guilty of the above plot. But mine, I'd like to hope has some originality.
This particular book: involves Vampires.
So what was so mysterious about the girl with strength and healing and all this vampire-ish traits even though she was most certainly not a vampire?
Oh, well, she was a half-vampire.
Original, huh?
But, there it was staring at me every day.
And they always tell you not to judge a book by it's cover (though inevitably we all do, which is why people need to make the cover an accurate representation of the book, if not the picture than at least the synopsis on the back.)
And don't you just hate it when instead of a synopsis, the book is covered in critic reviews?
It's very irritating.
Where was I?
Right. They tell you not to judge a book by it's cover, so beyond that it was just staring at me, there seemed to be a slim chance that I would like it.
So I bought it. And it's sequel.
And didn't make it halfway through before I could no longer tolerate the overwhelming triteness of it all.
There was another series of books where I liked it starting out.
But the author just took it WAY too far. I stopped buying at five, at the time the latest in the series. Later I discovered that there was a sixth.
Which apparently it was supposed to stop at, but according to Amazon, there will be a seventh.
Like I said, I liked it when it started out.
But this author had three main characters, all with mysterious pasts and abilities: the bastard prince beloved by his father and his people despite a supernatural and distrusted heritage; the mysterious and exotic woman with powers she doesn't understand who has people lusting after her for both her powers and her body; and, the kind and innocent peasant boy who keeps finding himself in unusual circumstances that force him to be heroic and discover abilities he didn't know he had.
Fine. Whatever. I can deal with three books of "I did something strange but I don't know how" "Why is this happening to me" "I don't know who my parents were"
Blah, blah, blah.
But this author seems to be obsessed with creating ever trivial detail of a fantasy world. The government, the religions, the languages, the races, the politics, the family history. She crowds the book with more details than are necessary until you become so confused and turned around that when someone is mentioned by name, who doesn't actually appear in the book, you stop and go "wait, what? who is that?"
Very tedious.
And then she proceeds in the later books to introduce whole new main plotlines, on top of the ones she already has as well as more main characters.
Plus, she has to make sure that every single person, plot, etc. is allllll connected.
I managed to force myself through three books. In the fourth I found myself skimming through till I found the parts about the only character I even liked.
It's another anime issue. And an issue that many people (though for some reason not me) have with Lost.
The creator/s introduce questions. But they're trying so hard to be mysterious that they never answer them. And just add more question.
And just pile on the info and you lose track of all the things you're supposed to keep track of so when the answers finally come, you have no idea what the questions are anymore.
I like detail and mystery as much as the next person but people, please, MODERATION!!!!!
Okay. I think that's it for me.
What about you guys? Have you gotten enough ranting? I've been doing it for an hour.
But one final thing.
Because I am spiteful, and because I think you have a right to know, or just to solve your curiosity (and because, impossible as it might be, I hope these people read this).
The song I mentioned, with the lyrics I quoted: "Overdrive" by Katy Rose
The Vampire book and sequel: "Dhampir" and "Thief of Lives" by Barb & J.C. Hendee.
(sidenote: I hate when couples write together. It's obnoxious. One of my favorite authors: I absolutely love his books, but I cannot stand any of the ones he wrote with his wife (though apparently she's helped him on all of them because he can't write parts for women (which makes me question his ability as a writer), but he really needs to stay away from joint work with her because they suck).)
(another sidebar: and speaking of "couples" who write together, do you know who I hate with a passionate and eternal flame? Nora fucking Roberts. She's a romance author. She publishes a book, I swear, every month. I'm sorry, but no one with talent can publish a book every month and include any sort of originality. In fact, I think it might take a severe lack of talent. And while you could claim that she just gets that many ideas, when the ideas are "tough-on-the-outside female cop meets innocent-but-haunting male land owner" one month and "tough-on-the-outside male cop meets innocent-but-haunting female land owner": you'd have to add them together to get half an idea. And again, it wouldn't be an original one. Oh, but it's not enough for Nora to write under one pen name. Apparently that doesn't give her enough artistic freedom. No, no, she also has to write under the name "J.D. Robb". But, there is a difference you see. Because "Roberts" writes Romance-Romance, where "Robb" writes Mystery-Romance. I'm sorry but the woman takes up a whole fucking section all to herself. Not a shelf, but an entire wall unit. We're talking three feet wide and seven feet high. But that's not the end of it. Oh no, there's wonderful glorious more. Apparently two names aren't enough because she feels the "two" genres she writes under should be brought together in one glorious book. And who does she put as the author of this magnificent piece of cross-genre firewood? Not Nora Roberts, not J.D. Robb. No, it's by Nora Roberts AND J.D. Robb. Both of them. EXCEPT THEY'RE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What. The. FUCK???? And to top it all off, because what's a circus without an extra clown in the car, she has their pictures on the back. Both authors. Standing back to back. In good-cop, bad-cop poses.
EXCEPT THEY ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON. IT'S A FUCKING PICTURE OF TWO FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON.
Does she have an extra personality or something? What is wrong with this crazy fucking bitch?
I'm sorry, but the government is (if you believe the movie Se7en) keeping track of people buying mien Kampf (Hitler's biography)? Maybe you should keep an eye on these people because there has to be some serious inbreeding going on if they actually read and enjoy this bullshit.
And if you're one of those people, then I mean to offend you because maybe hearing the opinion of an intelligent person will convince you to form your own and also encourage you to peruse other sections in the bookstore.)
Okay, rushing to a close. The series that I was talking about was "The Crown of Stars" by Kate Elliott
Now I have to go because my roommate is drunk. (actually, that was like an hour ago when I was finishing up my rant about Nora Roberts, but I'm putting it in now because "now" is when I'm actually leaving.
Later. (f.y.i. the post was started at 1:23 and finished at 4:02)
I've reread a bunch of the posts and it suddenly doesn't surprise me why no one reads this.
To be quite frank, I often have nothing good to say.
There are many cases where's it's just pointless prattling.
I get the subtle feeling that it degrades my intelligence.
A friend of mine told me I should write more poetry.
A good suggestion.
Except that writing poetry is very hard for me.
I know, the shock.
unbelievable that writing, in any way, could be difficult for me.
But honestly, half the time I don't even like poetry.
I've started feeling better about it, though, since discovering some poetry I liked.
I hate the childish, rhyming ones.
I don't mind poems that rhyme, I've written some myself.
But poetry for me is often like music.
I know whether I'll like it or not by the first couple lines.
And I hate when lyrics are forced.
Like when lines are there because someone thinks they have to be, because it's part of a saying.
Like they put "you want to have your cake" so the next line must be "and eat it too."
It's irritating.
And it's even more irritating when it's a forced rhyme, and you couldn't even come up with words.
For example (and this is quoting an actual song): "can't stop thinking of your face, a-la-la-le-lu-le-lu-lace"
Can't you just imagine the writer going "um, like, what, like rhymes with face? cuz, like, I totally can't think of anything."
But there's good poetry too.
I like E.E. Cummings and T.S. Eliot.
Beowulf is good.
And if you pay close attention and know how to read it, Hamlet rhymes.
(I don't really count Shakespeare as "poetry" but if you do, then you can add it to the list of ones I like)
Naturally Dante is on there as well.
I'll admit though, a couple of those about mentioned, I haven't read any of their work or only a little.
But I have the interesting ability to know what I'll like without even seeing it, only hearing about it or reading a synopsis.
Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle: Knew I'd like it, but would find some of the jokes obnoxious in their crudeness.
Which was true. And I own the movie now (bought it without even watching it).
Knew I'd like Vanity Fair, and I did (though many of you will think that was an odd choice for me).
Heck, we buy books all the time without reading them.
Although, I have bought books (and will in the future) because I liked one of the books in the series and am compelled to buy the rest so that I have a complete set.
Of course, I did that with the Lord of the Rings too. Hated the Fellowship, but loved or liked the other two. And while I only have the VHS of Fellowship and the Extended editions of the other two, I know that I'll end up buying the extended Fellowship.
Because, I know it's odd, it really bugs me that it's not a set.
There is a series of books I bought simply because while working at the bookstore, I got tired of it staring at me.
I know that sounds crazy, but if you've ever worked in a bookstore, then you'd understand.
When you're stacking books and your eye keeps catching on one, then you're forced to notice it. And it was a book I knew I wouldn't like. The plot is incredibly similar to a lot of the animes and manga I avoid. A mysterious girl with a traumatic and mysterious past. There's something odd about her but she doesn't know what. Encounters a mysterious evil who recognizes who or what she is. Mysterious girl must stop mysterious evil while answering the question of her mysterious past.
It's the idea that there are only so many plots, so inevitably we write the same ones over and over.
Which is why I admit that I am guilty of the above plot. But mine, I'd like to hope has some originality.
This particular book: involves Vampires.
So what was so mysterious about the girl with strength and healing and all this vampire-ish traits even though she was most certainly not a vampire?
Oh, well, she was a half-vampire.
Original, huh?
But, there it was staring at me every day.
And they always tell you not to judge a book by it's cover (though inevitably we all do, which is why people need to make the cover an accurate representation of the book, if not the picture than at least the synopsis on the back.)
And don't you just hate it when instead of a synopsis, the book is covered in critic reviews?
It's very irritating.
Where was I?
Right. They tell you not to judge a book by it's cover, so beyond that it was just staring at me, there seemed to be a slim chance that I would like it.
So I bought it. And it's sequel.
And didn't make it halfway through before I could no longer tolerate the overwhelming triteness of it all.
There was another series of books where I liked it starting out.
But the author just took it WAY too far. I stopped buying at five, at the time the latest in the series. Later I discovered that there was a sixth.
Which apparently it was supposed to stop at, but according to Amazon, there will be a seventh.
Like I said, I liked it when it started out.
But this author had three main characters, all with mysterious pasts and abilities: the bastard prince beloved by his father and his people despite a supernatural and distrusted heritage; the mysterious and exotic woman with powers she doesn't understand who has people lusting after her for both her powers and her body; and, the kind and innocent peasant boy who keeps finding himself in unusual circumstances that force him to be heroic and discover abilities he didn't know he had.
Fine. Whatever. I can deal with three books of "I did something strange but I don't know how" "Why is this happening to me" "I don't know who my parents were"
Blah, blah, blah.
But this author seems to be obsessed with creating ever trivial detail of a fantasy world. The government, the religions, the languages, the races, the politics, the family history. She crowds the book with more details than are necessary until you become so confused and turned around that when someone is mentioned by name, who doesn't actually appear in the book, you stop and go "wait, what? who is that?"
Very tedious.
And then she proceeds in the later books to introduce whole new main plotlines, on top of the ones she already has as well as more main characters.
Plus, she has to make sure that every single person, plot, etc. is allllll connected.
I managed to force myself through three books. In the fourth I found myself skimming through till I found the parts about the only character I even liked.
It's another anime issue. And an issue that many people (though for some reason not me) have with Lost.
The creator/s introduce questions. But they're trying so hard to be mysterious that they never answer them. And just add more question.
And just pile on the info and you lose track of all the things you're supposed to keep track of so when the answers finally come, you have no idea what the questions are anymore.
I like detail and mystery as much as the next person but people, please, MODERATION!!!!!
Okay. I think that's it for me.
What about you guys? Have you gotten enough ranting? I've been doing it for an hour.
But one final thing.
Because I am spiteful, and because I think you have a right to know, or just to solve your curiosity (and because, impossible as it might be, I hope these people read this).
The song I mentioned, with the lyrics I quoted: "Overdrive" by Katy Rose
The Vampire book and sequel: "Dhampir" and "Thief of Lives" by Barb & J.C. Hendee.
(sidenote: I hate when couples write together. It's obnoxious. One of my favorite authors: I absolutely love his books, but I cannot stand any of the ones he wrote with his wife (though apparently she's helped him on all of them because he can't write parts for women (which makes me question his ability as a writer), but he really needs to stay away from joint work with her because they suck).)
(another sidebar: and speaking of "couples" who write together, do you know who I hate with a passionate and eternal flame? Nora fucking Roberts. She's a romance author. She publishes a book, I swear, every month. I'm sorry, but no one with talent can publish a book every month and include any sort of originality. In fact, I think it might take a severe lack of talent. And while you could claim that she just gets that many ideas, when the ideas are "tough-on-the-outside female cop meets innocent-but-haunting male land owner" one month and "tough-on-the-outside male cop meets innocent-but-haunting female land owner": you'd have to add them together to get half an idea. And again, it wouldn't be an original one. Oh, but it's not enough for Nora to write under one pen name. Apparently that doesn't give her enough artistic freedom. No, no, she also has to write under the name "J.D. Robb". But, there is a difference you see. Because "Roberts" writes Romance-Romance, where "Robb" writes Mystery-Romance. I'm sorry but the woman takes up a whole fucking section all to herself. Not a shelf, but an entire wall unit. We're talking three feet wide and seven feet high. But that's not the end of it. Oh no, there's wonderful glorious more. Apparently two names aren't enough because she feels the "two" genres she writes under should be brought together in one glorious book. And who does she put as the author of this magnificent piece of cross-genre firewood? Not Nora Roberts, not J.D. Robb. No, it's by Nora Roberts AND J.D. Robb. Both of them. EXCEPT THEY'RE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What. The. FUCK???? And to top it all off, because what's a circus without an extra clown in the car, she has their pictures on the back. Both authors. Standing back to back. In good-cop, bad-cop poses.
EXCEPT THEY ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON. IT'S A FUCKING PICTURE OF TWO FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE THE SAME FUCKING PERSON.
Does she have an extra personality or something? What is wrong with this crazy fucking bitch?
I'm sorry, but the government is (if you believe the movie Se7en) keeping track of people buying mien Kampf (Hitler's biography)? Maybe you should keep an eye on these people because there has to be some serious inbreeding going on if they actually read and enjoy this bullshit.
And if you're one of those people, then I mean to offend you because maybe hearing the opinion of an intelligent person will convince you to form your own and also encourage you to peruse other sections in the bookstore.)
Okay, rushing to a close. The series that I was talking about was "The Crown of Stars" by Kate Elliott
Now I have to go because my roommate is drunk. (actually, that was like an hour ago when I was finishing up my rant about Nora Roberts, but I'm putting it in now because "now" is when I'm actually leaving.
Later. (f.y.i. the post was started at 1:23 and finished at 4:02)
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