Holy Galoshes, Batman! It's Rantorrific!

Yeah, I have no idea what's up with the title.

But theoretically it lets you know what I'll be talking about.


Item 1: Cheery Disposition.

Just kidding. (and if you can't figure out what the reference is, then you had a horrible childhood and I feel bad for you. Aww...)

But back on track.

So, there are a lot of degrading commercials out there that reduce women to simpering man-worshipping trollops. But the one I saw the other day has to be very high on list.

It went something like this:

"This morning my hair was straight."
:giggle:
"But then Brad called and I decided to go curly."

I mean, seriously? You think we're going to buy that?

And it was for a shampoo that apparently will save you all the work of ever using curlers.

It was just....wow, unspeakable in its obnoxious awfulness.


Item 2:

Does anyone else find it absolutely disturbing that as I was sitting in my Psych class, two of people in front of me were visiting the Neopets (they're a stupid brand of stupid toys) website?

It was just.......scary. And mildly nauseating.


Item 3:

Why do people object to saying "one nation under God" in the pledge of allegiance, but no one objects to taking the legal oath (you know "swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth") by placing their right hand on the Bible?


Item 4:

Why do mothers always tell you not to eat cookie dough because of the raw eggs, but never yell at you for eating frosting, which, if it's buttercream, also has raw eggs?


Item 5:

So Marvel.com has a little poll going asking what Ultimate line character should next get their own title (since they did Iron Man). And who's in second place?

Seriously, if you've ever paid attention to anything I'd said on these posts, you know the answer.

Wolverine.

Because apparently focusing Ultimate X-men completely on Wolverine isn't enough to give us the entire history of the character. Sure, they had him try and kill Cyclops, and they showed us that Captain America was his partner in WWII, and he's still the same (if not more so) heartless, murdering animal that he is in the regular Marvel universe. And even though the Ultimate line has really only updated the characters to our modern world, making it more realistic by getting rid of a lot of the aliens and alternate dimensions and including real world events and people, but has just added a slightly more brutal aspect to the characters...which I guess also adds to the realism, it doesn't mean that the characters that carry over from the normal line to the Ultimate line are gong to have anything in common....you know, beyond the fact that they're the same characters, with, well, the same powers and essentially the same history.

But hey, what was I thinking? I mean, how ridiculous that I expect people to actually carry over information from one Marvel book to another. And apparently, I'm the only one who thinks that it's unnecessary to talk about the history of a character who DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS OWN HISTORY!!!!!!!!! Or that adding background information to a character who's lived for over a hundred years is rather pointless, not to mention endless, and generally just annoying to people who couldn't give a crap.

Sheesh, it's obnoxious. I mean, god-forbid, we actually learn something about a character who we know nothing about.

Say for instance: Ultimate Thor? We don't even know if he's really a god or just crazy. Or maybe Ultimate Hulk (who's at least in first, ahead of Wolverine), who was actually a villain in this universe, and while dead, has a completely unexplored background. Oh, or Hawkeye, who's an excellent character but is currently only a supporting cast member and isn't even in the poll. I can't really get on board for making an Ultimate Venom book since the character was stupid and was only in Ultimate Spider-man for about 6 issues and was incredibly stupid and shallow, although, that's kind of my opinion of the regular Venom too. And Doom's in last place, where he belongs, since making books about villains is generally only an attempt to make us identify and sympathize with them, which I find just irritating. DC is doing it right now with a Lex Luthor book. Look, why can't you just leave a villain as a villain. They don't need depth. Just give us their goal and that's all it'll take to make them believable. Lex Luthor wants power, money, and information. He hates Superman because he can't control him. I don't want to read (not that I read Superman books anyway...unless it's the Superman/Batman crossover title...which is awesome) about how Lex Luthor is the only one who doesn't trust Superman and thinks he's not the boy-scout he seems (Superman is, trust me). All I need from a villain is their motivation, not their sob story.

Oh, and the other person in the poll was Captain America. No offense, but how much of a back story does he need? Turned into a super-soldier, fought in WWII, frozen in some ice, thawed out in present day, picked up where he left off - truth, justice, American way. Seems straight forward enough to me.


Item 6:

Well, I'm on a roll, aren't I?


Item 7:

Just because I can.


Item 8:

Why Batman is better than Superman and some of the fundamental differences in their motivation and personality.....so basically just a chance for me to talk about how much Batman rocks and tie together all the little bits and pieces I've picked up over the years.

One of the biggest differences is in their alter egos. Batman is Batman. The costume he wears is not black and form-fitting. The costume he wears is that of a billionaire playboy named Bruce Wayne. Why do you think that almost ever time they show Batman lounging around in his free time it's in his Batsuit in his Batcave. He only pretends to be Bruce Wayne when it's required of him. He is Batman. Or, as it's so much more fun to say "The Batman." (you don't hear people ever referring to Supes as "The Superman". Why? Because Batman is better.)

Also, as he so eloquently stated in Justice League Unlimited (episode 105, This Little Piggy - great episode, Batman sings and Wonder Woman gets turned into, well, a pig (I loved that).), he's "a rich kid with issues, lots of issues."

He isn't Batman because he wants to help the weak and downtrodden. He doesn't want to save the world and rid the streets of crime. Sure he does those things, and sure he's good at it and happy to make a difference. But the real reason he's a crimefighter is because he wants revenge. And every time he puts on the suit, it's in the hopes that the next criminal he catches will be the one that killed his parents. And that he wants to make sure that no child ever has to grow up the way he did.

Now Terry McGinnis (Batman in the Batman:Beyond series...which is excellent by the way) became the Batman to get revenge for the death of his father. But he stayed the Batman because he'd make mistakes in his life, he'd done things wrong. He stayed the Batman because every time he helped someone else, it helped him feel like he was finally getting the chance to make up for his wrongs.

Batman, in any form (except as that one guy (can't remember his name) who took over when Bruce was injured - he was bad...which, I guess, was the point), Rocks.

Superman however, is incredibly annoying. He puts on a cape and saves to world and pretends to be a hero, but deep down, you know who he is? Mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent. The glasses-wearing, farm-boy, boy scout (though apparently he never even made it to his first badge) who, if it wasn't for his super-strength, would have been shoved in his high-school locker so many times he'd probably still be there.

So in short, Batman = Awesome. Superman = Loser with super powers....which, I guess, is enough in the comicbook world.

Of course :said with malicious, mischievous grin:, Batman doesn't have superpowers and he's still managed to take down superpowered villains. And he doesn't destroy buildings constantly by smashing either himself or others into people's living rooms. And he can solve crimes without superhearing or supersight. Also, he's got Catwoman. Superman has Lois Lane, a woman who after years and years of getting into trouble every day hasn't taken a tae-bo class or bought some mace or a taser. Catwoman - leather and a whip, super-thief, animal magnetism. Lois Lane - legal pad, pen, and can't tell the difference between a man with glasses who always disappears at the first sign of trouble and a superhero who only shows up after the first man has left.


Item 9:

I am such a geek.


Item 10:

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, as a rule, are incredibly annoying. But when they hosted Saturday Night Live, I have to admit....it was pretty darn good.


Item 11:

Why Corin? Why?

Corin Nemec. An attractive and talented actor (oh so hot).

He was a starring character on Stargate SG-1 for a season, replacing a "dead" Daniel Jackson. But then they ruthlessly got rid of him after completely underplaying his character and building storylines and plot developments that they never answered. Then, when they did bring him back, it was for one episode, with a stupid plot line and for some reason, they had him with an awful haircut and terrible clothes. It was depressing.

So sure, even with Stargate under his belt, he is still a relatively unknown actor and it seems unlikely that doors would be flying open and scripts were being thrown at him.

But why in the hell would he agree to star in a Sci-fi movie of the week, which almost always suck, let alone one called "Mansquito"?

I mean, seriously, Mansquito?

Not only is it called Mansquito, but then they actually made it about a MANSQUITO!!!

Sci-fi screws up everything. They cancelled Farscape but aired shows like Codename: Eternity and picked up Andromeda instead of letting it die.

They own the rights to some awesome shows (Invisible Man, Now And Again, The Incredible Hulk, Kolchak The Night Stalker, Timecop, Sliders, Roswell, Roar, and a number of others), but for some reason they never show them.

What do they show? Endless repeats of Ripley's Believe It Or Not, Proof Positive, Beyond Belief, and other "documentary" shows. Or even better more of their original movies, like Raptor Island, Dragon Storm, Species 3, Snakehead Terror (about a fish), Chupacabra, Boa vs Python, Python 2, Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys, Frankenfish?????

God, just mentioning them makes me want to vomit.


Item 12:

Sci-fi sucks. But at least now I have something to watch on Fridays. Stargate SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica.

Oh, and they have a new Bruce Campbell movie coming up.


Item 13:

How does Seth Green get Mark Hamill and Ryan Seacrest to come on his show (Robot Chicken...which is excellent and a must-see) and make fun of themselves? Well, I guess Mark is understandable since he doesn't really have a career anymore (or ever if it wasn't for SW)


Item 14:

How did Bam Magerea get Sean Penn to come on Viva La Bam?


Item 15:

(I guess I could have put these all as one, but where's the fun in that?)

How did they get Brad Pitt to show up on Jackass in what has to be the funniest clip of the series?

I mean, it's BRAD PITT!!!


Item 16:

Hi Ringo.


Item 17:

I wonder how many items I can come up with?


Item 18:

Why do some writers insist on dragging a relatively good book far past the point of interesting? For instance, Kate Elliot? You should have stopped at 3 or 4 books in the series, not 5 or 6.

God I hope she's reading this.


Item 19:

There is no way in hell that I am risking losing this post for the sake of making sure all my words are spelled correctly....even though I know if I happen to notice an error later, it will bug the crap out of me.



Well, that's it for today, even though technically I started this post yesterday.


So, Lata.

Songs:

"Save Me" & "They" by Jem.
"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson.
"All Of Us" by Blindside.
"Ghost Dance" by Robbie Robertson.


(oh, and you may notice the lack of spelling errors and think "well, she must be a good speller, no matter how paranoid she is that when she looks at it later it will bug her". No. I went back and fixed it....about five minutes after posting it. Even though it took me twenty minutes. Because, as I've mentioned before, Windows Service Pack 2 Internet Explorer Pop-up Blocker SUCKS!!!!!! I'm sticking with my Google one. That at least, while missing a few, doesn't shut down my internet explorer with obnxious errors that it claims I can de-bug but than doesn't actually de-bug. I'm tired of cutting and pasting to Word just to keep my OCD from driving me crazy about potential spelling errors. And now, I'm gonna take a shower. Because even though it's 3 in the morning, I feel like it. Sorry Sara if I wake you up.)

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