So two of my friends just left to go to a party.
I'm not sure how I feel about this.
In general, I am not an overly social person, as people who know me are well aware of.
But lately, well, it's complicated.
Sufficied to say, I might have actually gone to this one. I know, you're thinking "so why didn't you?" Well, frankly, because my friend didn't invite me.
Now there is a specific reason for this. Because it involves a person I previously yelled out a window at, the connection to me and my friend would have been obvious to this person and thus very awkward. If he never meets me, it's fine. But if he ever does, it's bad. Hence I can't go.
Which I get. I really do.
But I think what bugged me about the whole thing is that my friend didn't tell me why I couldn't go. They simply didn't bother asking me at all. So I'm spending several days (as I see this person a lot) wondering why, as my friend complains about wanting to go but not having anyone to go with, my friend doesn't invite me.
I probably would have said "no". I tend to do that about social gatherings. But that doesn't mean she shouldn't ask. But if she didn't want me going for a perfectly acceptable reason, then at least she should have told me the reason instead of just making me rather upset about it as I tried to figure out why she wasn't inviting me.
I think I'm just a little disheartened, not angry, just a little sad that she didn't speak to me about it.
Frankly, and I've told her this, I don't think she should be going either, because I'm not sure the guy throwing the party really wants her there. Apparently the first day this was mentioned, he said she (my friend) couldn't go because she wasn't 21. The next day he says "you know I was just joking, right?"
Now, I may not have my psychology degree yet, but this to me says "I wasn't really joking, I just didn't want to seem overly rude."
If the guy is worried about having underage people there, then even when he says he was just joking and that she could come, he really doesn't want her there.
But moving on because I have something else to talk about. So, giving the hypothetical that I could have gone to this party, would I?
My problem comes in that the answer is quite probably a "yes".
I realize this isn't really a problem, but it's a bit of one for me. Junior year of college is kind of a late time to become a social creature. But I think it might be out of fear of loneliness.
I'll explain.
Who are the people you're friends with now? How did you meet them? You meet your middle school friends in grade school, your high school friends in middle school. College, you probably got a bunch of new ones. But how? Sororities, Frats, roommates, hall mates, freshman classes.
But see, I more or less didn't make or keep a lot of those friends. As the years have gone along, I've had very few friends because, beyond the fact that I tend to be very off-putting (I know, what a shock), I just tend to not meet people or do things where I'd meet people.
So I'm wondering, how am I going to make friends as an adult? My friendship is already fading with my best friend (I'm sorry to say this now, but I didn't want to bring it up when I was visiting. Can you tell it's waning?). I have very few friends in college. As a psychologist I will have very few coworkers and I can't be friends with my patients. As an author, I'd be little more than a hermit. I don't plan on having kids, so I can't be friends with my kid's friend's parents. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to meet my husband if I can't even get a boyfriend in college. This is supposed to be the place where we meet people with like interests and who are interested in intellectual things and that kind of stuff but I find it very hard to meet guys let alone any that have things in common with me. I haven't even had a crush in a year which is pretty new to me. I don't even have any guy friends anymore, which is all I had in grade school and middle school (in high school I had mostly girl friends, but I mostly talked with guys. The girls [most of them] weren't even my friends, it was just that the lunchroom was crowded and it was hard to get a table by yourself, so I needed someone to sit with.)
Anyway. I think I'm just a little disappointed that things haven't turned out the way I wanted them too.
But I'm gonna go get some pop and some snacks and I'll see ya next time.
Ciao.
Songs:
"Stuck In The Middle With You" Steve Miller Band (I always picture that scene from Reservoir Dogs. You know the one I'm talking about)
"Reptilia" The Strokes.
I'm not sure how I feel about this.
In general, I am not an overly social person, as people who know me are well aware of.
But lately, well, it's complicated.
Sufficied to say, I might have actually gone to this one. I know, you're thinking "so why didn't you?" Well, frankly, because my friend didn't invite me.
Now there is a specific reason for this. Because it involves a person I previously yelled out a window at, the connection to me and my friend would have been obvious to this person and thus very awkward. If he never meets me, it's fine. But if he ever does, it's bad. Hence I can't go.
Which I get. I really do.
But I think what bugged me about the whole thing is that my friend didn't tell me why I couldn't go. They simply didn't bother asking me at all. So I'm spending several days (as I see this person a lot) wondering why, as my friend complains about wanting to go but not having anyone to go with, my friend doesn't invite me.
I probably would have said "no". I tend to do that about social gatherings. But that doesn't mean she shouldn't ask. But if she didn't want me going for a perfectly acceptable reason, then at least she should have told me the reason instead of just making me rather upset about it as I tried to figure out why she wasn't inviting me.
I think I'm just a little disheartened, not angry, just a little sad that she didn't speak to me about it.
Frankly, and I've told her this, I don't think she should be going either, because I'm not sure the guy throwing the party really wants her there. Apparently the first day this was mentioned, he said she (my friend) couldn't go because she wasn't 21. The next day he says "you know I was just joking, right?"
Now, I may not have my psychology degree yet, but this to me says "I wasn't really joking, I just didn't want to seem overly rude."
If the guy is worried about having underage people there, then even when he says he was just joking and that she could come, he really doesn't want her there.
But moving on because I have something else to talk about. So, giving the hypothetical that I could have gone to this party, would I?
My problem comes in that the answer is quite probably a "yes".
I realize this isn't really a problem, but it's a bit of one for me. Junior year of college is kind of a late time to become a social creature. But I think it might be out of fear of loneliness.
I'll explain.
Who are the people you're friends with now? How did you meet them? You meet your middle school friends in grade school, your high school friends in middle school. College, you probably got a bunch of new ones. But how? Sororities, Frats, roommates, hall mates, freshman classes.
But see, I more or less didn't make or keep a lot of those friends. As the years have gone along, I've had very few friends because, beyond the fact that I tend to be very off-putting (I know, what a shock), I just tend to not meet people or do things where I'd meet people.
So I'm wondering, how am I going to make friends as an adult? My friendship is already fading with my best friend (I'm sorry to say this now, but I didn't want to bring it up when I was visiting. Can you tell it's waning?). I have very few friends in college. As a psychologist I will have very few coworkers and I can't be friends with my patients. As an author, I'd be little more than a hermit. I don't plan on having kids, so I can't be friends with my kid's friend's parents. Heck, I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to meet my husband if I can't even get a boyfriend in college. This is supposed to be the place where we meet people with like interests and who are interested in intellectual things and that kind of stuff but I find it very hard to meet guys let alone any that have things in common with me. I haven't even had a crush in a year which is pretty new to me. I don't even have any guy friends anymore, which is all I had in grade school and middle school (in high school I had mostly girl friends, but I mostly talked with guys. The girls [most of them] weren't even my friends, it was just that the lunchroom was crowded and it was hard to get a table by yourself, so I needed someone to sit with.)
Anyway. I think I'm just a little disappointed that things haven't turned out the way I wanted them too.
But I'm gonna go get some pop and some snacks and I'll see ya next time.
Ciao.
Songs:
"Stuck In The Middle With You" Steve Miller Band (I always picture that scene from Reservoir Dogs. You know the one I'm talking about)
"Reptilia" The Strokes.
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