Okay, posting again. I know, twice in one day, it's a shocker. And, and, get this: Not only am I posting again, but I'm putting something of substance as opposed to just saying that I have nothing to say.
I realize that you've probably fainted, so I'll give you a few minutes to wake up and collect you thoughts.
.................*taps fingers*
Better? Good. Today's rant is brought to you by the letter "C" for "commercial programming" and by the letter "I" as in "I wrote this a while ago but I'm putting it on here now because when I wrote it, I didn't have a blog-spot to post on". Oh, it's also brought to you by the number "1,472,937,258.560723140424987" because, come on, they never have that number on Seasame Street.
(sidebar: I do realize that I start out talking about insomnia, but I got onto this huge rant and the last paragraph has one huge sentence. That sentence, by the way, is not a run-on. It is an incredibly long, grammatically correct statement.) Oh, also, I do realize that "nother" isn't actually a word, but "other" didn't sound right and "another" was wrong. So you got "nother", personally, I like it.
Rant:
Have you ever noticed that not sleeping for any extended period of time is very strange? It's hard too, or can be, if you don't have anything to do. There's nothing to keep you occupied, nothing for you to focus on. Everyone else is asleep. There's no background noise. Your wallmates don't have their stereo repeating the same song over and over. The boys two doors down aren't playing the drums or warming up on their guitars. Those two obnoxious girls, that you (for an unknown reason) hang out with, aren't yelling sexual innuendos up and down the cavernous hallway. There's nothing. It's just dead silence.
Television can occupy you for a while. Flipping through the channels one way, then the opposite. Halting on stations to see what show will come on after the commercial break. Then after a good ten minutes, you realize you've been watching the same commercial. Then a new one comes on for thirty seconds, then another, and you realize that the commercial you were watching for ten minutes wasn't a commercial but rather a commercial program and it dawns on you that it seems pointless to run commercials during a commercial program since they're already pitching an item and if they pitch anymore you simply won't be able to keep track of what you're watching, buying, or being influenced by and you recognize that the entire world seems to be one big commercial which makes you think that maybe someone is following you with a camera because your entire life is a giant advertisement and reality is nothing more than a twisted version of the Matrix movie that more closely resembles The Truman Show, that ghastly movie with Jim Carrey that you liked but only the first dozen times because after that the whole "good afternoon, good evening, good night" bit gets incredibly old and grates in your ears like a rusted cheese shredder and this entire revelation takes place at five thirty in the morning and it dawns on you that it's, well, dawn, which sets you off on a whole nother tangent but it's a different story that we aren't going to get into right now.
End of Rant:
Man, ranting takes a lot out of you. You get all worked up, then you start hyperventilating, your heart races, your adrenaline kicks in and you're spilling out word after word and you're never quite sure what you're saying till you look at the whole thing later and even then it doesn't quite seem to make sense so you have calm down, take a break, get something to eat, and a glass of water maybe, then come back and look at the whole thing objectively, and then finally, finally it begins to make sense and you read and comprehend the whole thing and when you finally finish both the writing and the reading you can sit back with a sigh, pause for a moment to let you biological functions return to normal and then it comes to you in a flash "oh yeah, I get that. It makes complete sense."
Ahh, ranting's fun. And hey, you were not only treated to a custom-made George Harrison Rant, but you also got a rant about the rant. I'm on a roll today.
Okay, now I'm gonna go. Got other stuff to do (well, not really, but I'm gonna go anyway.)
Lata.
I realize that you've probably fainted, so I'll give you a few minutes to wake up and collect you thoughts.
.................*taps fingers*
Better? Good. Today's rant is brought to you by the letter "C" for "commercial programming" and by the letter "I" as in "I wrote this a while ago but I'm putting it on here now because when I wrote it, I didn't have a blog-spot to post on". Oh, it's also brought to you by the number "1,472,937,258.560723140424987" because, come on, they never have that number on Seasame Street.
(sidebar: I do realize that I start out talking about insomnia, but I got onto this huge rant and the last paragraph has one huge sentence. That sentence, by the way, is not a run-on. It is an incredibly long, grammatically correct statement.) Oh, also, I do realize that "nother" isn't actually a word, but "other" didn't sound right and "another" was wrong. So you got "nother", personally, I like it.
Rant:
Have you ever noticed that not sleeping for any extended period of time is very strange? It's hard too, or can be, if you don't have anything to do. There's nothing to keep you occupied, nothing for you to focus on. Everyone else is asleep. There's no background noise. Your wallmates don't have their stereo repeating the same song over and over. The boys two doors down aren't playing the drums or warming up on their guitars. Those two obnoxious girls, that you (for an unknown reason) hang out with, aren't yelling sexual innuendos up and down the cavernous hallway. There's nothing. It's just dead silence.
Television can occupy you for a while. Flipping through the channels one way, then the opposite. Halting on stations to see what show will come on after the commercial break. Then after a good ten minutes, you realize you've been watching the same commercial. Then a new one comes on for thirty seconds, then another, and you realize that the commercial you were watching for ten minutes wasn't a commercial but rather a commercial program and it dawns on you that it seems pointless to run commercials during a commercial program since they're already pitching an item and if they pitch anymore you simply won't be able to keep track of what you're watching, buying, or being influenced by and you recognize that the entire world seems to be one big commercial which makes you think that maybe someone is following you with a camera because your entire life is a giant advertisement and reality is nothing more than a twisted version of the Matrix movie that more closely resembles The Truman Show, that ghastly movie with Jim Carrey that you liked but only the first dozen times because after that the whole "good afternoon, good evening, good night" bit gets incredibly old and grates in your ears like a rusted cheese shredder and this entire revelation takes place at five thirty in the morning and it dawns on you that it's, well, dawn, which sets you off on a whole nother tangent but it's a different story that we aren't going to get into right now.
End of Rant:
Man, ranting takes a lot out of you. You get all worked up, then you start hyperventilating, your heart races, your adrenaline kicks in and you're spilling out word after word and you're never quite sure what you're saying till you look at the whole thing later and even then it doesn't quite seem to make sense so you have calm down, take a break, get something to eat, and a glass of water maybe, then come back and look at the whole thing objectively, and then finally, finally it begins to make sense and you read and comprehend the whole thing and when you finally finish both the writing and the reading you can sit back with a sigh, pause for a moment to let you biological functions return to normal and then it comes to you in a flash "oh yeah, I get that. It makes complete sense."
Ahh, ranting's fun. And hey, you were not only treated to a custom-made George Harrison Rant, but you also got a rant about the rant. I'm on a roll today.
Okay, now I'm gonna go. Got other stuff to do (well, not really, but I'm gonna go anyway.)
Lata.
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