It makes sense.

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What, exactly, am I doing, that I have managed to fail so well at it?

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Five Alarm

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I see myself through frosted glass A sensation not mirrored by the truth of the image I see myself something I am not Skilled beyond measure, I marvel when I fail Whose image have I taped to the twisted window that I fool myself so well? When the turning goes quick enough, when murky water clears, I shall throw myself free I wear the tension in my neck, a yolk for the oxen to struggle through the field I have tilled here And I have failed as well My disconnected thoughts have joined forces They smother me at night with a hypoallergenic pillow The simple thing that chains them here The guilt or The obligation Or any of many, minute causes I may not have ever told you But it didn’t mean you could never ask I live without meaning No, beyond this obsession with personal purpose I live without meaning Confession of depression A sin I cannot help My mind seeks to stretch my body to a point it will not go A wave pinned upon the sand I could, I think I could cut my head open to let it go I see...
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Crayon Boxes I think I have died That you no longer care if I live This grave could be unmarked, for all the people who look at it and know I am here I am hunched At my desk in my favorite sweatshirt The hood lined with orange And the sleeves frayed, worn I have worn this sweater for so many years, though loved it half as long The orange does little to cheer me tonight As I have searched your name and found a new addition to your fame An expansion of your being I realize the knife is still there Because I can feel it twisting, fresh, in the wound I smell that change in the sweet spring air and regret that I am not there. These rhymes are happenstance and agony. It has been so long since I have written here, had the charge to write here, and as always, it is of a tragedy My tragedy Like a forgotten war, Like a villager, killed by a despot, who is survived by a child who grows up dreaming of nothing but the tyrant’s death (I don’t even care to draw the conclusion) I have a thousand songs...
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