Coming Attractions

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Here's some poetry to tide you over while I work on a rather large rant about geek-related topics. I figure I've taken up enough space on other people's webpages.



The Chalk Outline

Sleeping on a dead man's mattress
Dreaming of a man in drag
Hung
With cut strings
Rolling back into oblivion
The sour notes of sacrilege
Ringing in my ears
A House of Flies and a Welcome Home
The stroke of my skin
An expression waiting to begin
Building to a crescendo
Amounting to an emotion
I am striving to reach a level of awareness I have yet to comprehend
There is a sensation in me I cannot understand
A coat of ice
And the destruction of my future
My own little corner
A haven where I have been shuttled and locked away
My portal waits
With visions dancing at my arrival
I am on the inside
Sleep is kept at bay for an eternity while my creativity storms free
But all my inspiration builds to desperation and strays about in a ungainly waste of effort
And for all I have accomplished I have nothing to show
A thousand trees
Cut to a million planks
And burning in the sunrise
Lying on the ceiling
Staring at the floor
The spirits of the past
Are waiting beyond the veil
Standing at my door
But no one knocks
Because no one’s there
My fear of proximity has left me bare
And as I long for normality
I start to care


Cathedral

My heart wanes
_____And breaks
With the weight
_____Of my self-imposed
Despair.
Such blasphemy I speak

Of faith
_____I have none
For I have not
Taken the time
To decide what I believe

There is sacrilege
_____In these walls
_____Sanctimonious in sanctity
There is decadence
On this hallowed ground

I hold Lust
_____in my head
Gluttony
_____in my hands
Sloth
_____in my limbs
Greed
_____in my heart
and Pride
_____in my pen

I am a Waste
Of a life
Of the care
_____and kindness
That went into my creation

_____If only
Blood flowed as readily as ink
_____to hollow my shell
_____(May it catch up with my words)
But it marks me a coward
My actions are of fear
_____And yet
Fear keeps me from the actions

I am a waste
_____Of divine inspiration
Because I waste it
_____And I waste away

What is the better
_____To pick
To choose
_____And follow blindly
_____With faith that is pure
_____but cares only for the surface

Or is it the worse
To know only
That you have faith
But not bother
with what it is in

Alas
_____that I will always be alone
For I seek another to make me whole
_____Afraid to exist on my one
Afraid that acceptance
Will lead to a permanent state

To become
One with God
When I do not know him
To become
One with another
When I do not know myself
_____(and cannot advertise
_____as the parts you are seeking)

My faith has led me here
To this
_____Delusion
_____Degradation
_____Distillation
Disillusion
To this disillusion
To these stones
_____where they keep their religion
And I fear what I seek
_____is not here
I have met
_____Inspiration
But
_____Comfort
And
_____Assurance
Have forsaken me

My heart does not lie here
My faith is undetermined
What ever light
_____That I imagine I hold
Will not see me through this darkness

I seek a sign
I care
_____Not
How it appears
But simply that it is
_____Unmistakable
So that I may see
_____That a path lies
Nearby

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