I don't think you people understand just how much this irritates me. If you make plans to do something with someone, then those plans should have priority over other things. Now I can understand if something comes up that you must attend to. Or if you realize that you forgot to do something that needs done. You are both in situations where you have people that depend on you and with these situations, extenuating circumstances are sure to come up and interfere with things you might rather be doing. I get this. I really do.
BUT HOW FREAKIN' HARD IS IT TO PICK UP A PHONE AND CALL ME TO LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS VIOLENTLY OBNOXIOUS TO FAIL TO INFORM SOMEONE THAT YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO PROCEED WITH THE FOREPLANNED EVENTS AS WELL AS A SIGN THAT DESPITE WHAT I AM SURE WAS AN EXCEPTIONAL PARENTING JOB YOU HAVE FAILED TO REMEMBER ANY METHODOLOGY WHEN IT COMES TO COMMON SENSE AND POLITE BEHAVIOR.
Do you both (since I'm only speaking to two of you. You should know who you are, even if you don't know who the other might be) just constantly forget that I'm obsessive-compulsive and paranoid? This is not a good combination. It leads me to have minor nervous breakdowns when things that have been planned in advance fall apart. Generally, this will lead me to two actions. 1. I will call near constantly in an effort to contact you, while running through my head any number of excuses that will irritate me, reasons I will begrudgingly accept, and scathing retorts that I want to venomously spit when you answer the phone. The second action is that I will take your absence and/or lack of contact extremely personally. This means that I'll insanely decide that: a. you don't have anything better to do, you're simply blowing me off...which I will usually and often unreasonably assume you're doing because of some secret hatred of me or desire to not share my company; b. you somehow don't see me as important enough to warrant a phone call expressing your change in plans; c. you forgot, which would mean that you don't warrant me important enough to remember; d. you're blowing me off because you don't think I'm important enough in general; e.....you get the general idea of where this is going?
Now I don't want you to somehow get out of this that I'm possessive. In the first place, I'm not. And in the second place, it would make it seem as though this is my fault. Which it most certainly is not.
This is your fault. This is ALL your fault. And I want to be perfectly clear on that point.
You should know by now that I'm highly irrational and I tend to internalize things, somehow seeing them as my fault or a reflection of me and/or your opinions of me. It is very hard for me not to take the failure of a planned social event entirely personal. I've spent my entire life dealing with being ignored or facing rejection from people I don't like. I really don't need to get the same emotions from people I do like, not to mention those people who's opinions actually matter to me.
:sigh:
I'm not sure I should be this irritated. For the first of you, I'm sad to say, I've long come to expect this behavior so it no longer comes as a surprise, the lack of which helps to soften the blow enough that I can ignore the swelling of emotion that accompanies the behavior. For the second of you, there really haven't been enough incidents for me to start getting irritated.
However, the combination of the two and the fear that I'm suddenly getting another friend who's going to constantly blow me off is, I feel, complete justification for the level of irritation I am feeling.
I just really HATE feeling like I'm not important enough to earn a minute-long phone call telling me that things have come up.
I will understand. I might be sad, but trust me it will be much better for the health of our relationship if I'm sad instead of the plethora of emotions, culminating in irritation (Which is a far more dangerous state than "angry". It's like when your parents tell you that they're not mad, they're disappointed.), that I feel right now.
So in short, for your safety and my decreased insanity:
PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!!
BUT HOW FREAKIN' HARD IS IT TO PICK UP A PHONE AND CALL ME TO LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS VIOLENTLY OBNOXIOUS TO FAIL TO INFORM SOMEONE THAT YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO PROCEED WITH THE FOREPLANNED EVENTS AS WELL AS A SIGN THAT DESPITE WHAT I AM SURE WAS AN EXCEPTIONAL PARENTING JOB YOU HAVE FAILED TO REMEMBER ANY METHODOLOGY WHEN IT COMES TO COMMON SENSE AND POLITE BEHAVIOR.
Do you both (since I'm only speaking to two of you. You should know who you are, even if you don't know who the other might be) just constantly forget that I'm obsessive-compulsive and paranoid? This is not a good combination. It leads me to have minor nervous breakdowns when things that have been planned in advance fall apart. Generally, this will lead me to two actions. 1. I will call near constantly in an effort to contact you, while running through my head any number of excuses that will irritate me, reasons I will begrudgingly accept, and scathing retorts that I want to venomously spit when you answer the phone. The second action is that I will take your absence and/or lack of contact extremely personally. This means that I'll insanely decide that: a. you don't have anything better to do, you're simply blowing me off...which I will usually and often unreasonably assume you're doing because of some secret hatred of me or desire to not share my company; b. you somehow don't see me as important enough to warrant a phone call expressing your change in plans; c. you forgot, which would mean that you don't warrant me important enough to remember; d. you're blowing me off because you don't think I'm important enough in general; e.....you get the general idea of where this is going?
Now I don't want you to somehow get out of this that I'm possessive. In the first place, I'm not. And in the second place, it would make it seem as though this is my fault. Which it most certainly is not.
This is your fault. This is ALL your fault. And I want to be perfectly clear on that point.
You should know by now that I'm highly irrational and I tend to internalize things, somehow seeing them as my fault or a reflection of me and/or your opinions of me. It is very hard for me not to take the failure of a planned social event entirely personal. I've spent my entire life dealing with being ignored or facing rejection from people I don't like. I really don't need to get the same emotions from people I do like, not to mention those people who's opinions actually matter to me.
:sigh:
I'm not sure I should be this irritated. For the first of you, I'm sad to say, I've long come to expect this behavior so it no longer comes as a surprise, the lack of which helps to soften the blow enough that I can ignore the swelling of emotion that accompanies the behavior. For the second of you, there really haven't been enough incidents for me to start getting irritated.
However, the combination of the two and the fear that I'm suddenly getting another friend who's going to constantly blow me off is, I feel, complete justification for the level of irritation I am feeling.
I just really HATE feeling like I'm not important enough to earn a minute-long phone call telling me that things have come up.
I will understand. I might be sad, but trust me it will be much better for the health of our relationship if I'm sad instead of the plethora of emotions, culminating in irritation (Which is a far more dangerous state than "angry". It's like when your parents tell you that they're not mad, they're disappointed.), that I feel right now.
So in short, for your safety and my decreased insanity:
PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!!
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