All I Ask.
The subtle melancholy of my life has deepened to a point of no return.
Have I gone as far as I can go, up or down?
Is there no joy to be found?
Do I await a fiery doom?
Will I find dusk and gloom?
Does silence wait in the afterlife?
Where whispers abound with life and love, but none can touch me.
An operation of dark intent, removing my heart, my center and soul.
Yearn for life and death.
Strive for peace and silence yet search for action and noise.
Pain runs freely through my veins.
Every day is pain and darkness but never enough.
Never death.
Never the end.
Never everything it could be, all building up to the point of nothing.
Life has deserted me and death will not claim me.
Left is right and up is down and everything spins round and round.
Clockwise is counter, in is out and all of everything spins about.
Building is collapsing and the retreat is sound.
The day arises and my heart forgets to beat and everything is nothing and nothing at all but everything is here and there and everywhere is nowhere because here is somewhere else and I am not somewhere else.
I am here but should not be among
these people
are not where
I belong
in another world
I will sleep
and
place my face upon the bed
and buried in the
dirt
covers
my skin
crawls and
burns
my eyes to
tears
stinging my face and
spilling
upon
the ground
rushes towards me as I’m lowered
down
in my coffin I hear
the earth
piled upon me
the burden of life
lays heavy in
my chest
beats and pounds
and whispers in my ear tell me of things
I cannot hear
for all my sense are
dead and gone
and lowered
in the ground
and
gone
and
dead
and
gone
and
dead
and
gone
and
gone
and
gone
and
dead
but still
alive
amongst us all is one who does not
belong
to me all these
thoughts so jumbled in
my head
pounds like there is no
tomorrow
I shall not feel
these things
I cannot speak
because
all is lost
amid the haze
I cannot find
my way
is
not good
enough nor strong
enough
is enough and I want to end but can’t die when I want to when I need to.
When I die I sleep and sleep is all I ask.
The subtle melancholy of my life has deepened to a point of no return.
Have I gone as far as I can go, up or down?
Is there no joy to be found?
Do I await a fiery doom?
Will I find dusk and gloom?
Does silence wait in the afterlife?
Where whispers abound with life and love, but none can touch me.
An operation of dark intent, removing my heart, my center and soul.
Yearn for life and death.
Strive for peace and silence yet search for action and noise.
Pain runs freely through my veins.
Every day is pain and darkness but never enough.
Never death.
Never the end.
Never everything it could be, all building up to the point of nothing.
Life has deserted me and death will not claim me.
Left is right and up is down and everything spins round and round.
Clockwise is counter, in is out and all of everything spins about.
Building is collapsing and the retreat is sound.
The day arises and my heart forgets to beat and everything is nothing and nothing at all but everything is here and there and everywhere is nowhere because here is somewhere else and I am not somewhere else.
I am here but should not be among
these people
are not where
I belong
in another world
I will sleep
and
place my face upon the bed
and buried in the
dirt
covers
my skin
crawls and
burns
my eyes to
tears
stinging my face and
spilling
upon
the ground
rushes towards me as I’m lowered
down
in my coffin I hear
the earth
piled upon me
the burden of life
lays heavy in
my chest
beats and pounds
and whispers in my ear tell me of things
I cannot hear
for all my sense are
dead and gone
and lowered
in the ground
and
gone
and
dead
and
gone
and
dead
and
gone
and
gone
and
gone
and
dead
but still
alive
amongst us all is one who does not
belong
to me all these
thoughts so jumbled in
my head
pounds like there is no
tomorrow
I shall not feel
these things
I cannot speak
because
all is lost
amid the haze
I cannot find
my way
is
not good
enough nor strong
enough
is enough and I want to end but can’t die when I want to when I need to.
When I die I sleep and sleep is all I ask.
Comments