Coma Inducing.

-
I know I just posted something like 2 or 3...months ago, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to add something else.

That job I was having trouble with? Well, I'm not having trouble with it anymore.

And it's not because of an improvement in my performance.

It sucks.

It really sucks.

I was happy. I was building friendships. I saw, for the first time, my own possible future.

Well, on to new things. If I can figure out a decent reason to stick around.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Alarm

-
A steady rhythm Inhale Exhale Smoke-filled lungs Inhale Exhale A glorious epitaph Such a wonder opens before me Coffers of splendor A myriad of voids and endless worlds A hooker under a street lamp A gangster in a bank A gambler in a casino And the dead man in jail This air of mystery This fog of complexity Death in sticks Suicide in packs Choice limited by your issues Freedom hampered By coughs and the sense of smell But there is this moment And there is this space Where there is just space And nothing matters Because nothing exists And you can ignore the tar in your lungs And the smell on your clothes And hands And hair You can ignore the frostbitten fingers The shaking limbs The futility of a lighter in the wind Because in that one moment It’s not about what you did Or’ve done It’s about that moment And about the feeling Of knowing nothing at all matters It is a Zen garden With rocks and sand And Coy swimming about in empty circles It is a forest of solitude Of green And brown Of br...
Read more

Cast the Bones

-
I write words like spells. To pull me from my skin, to Slide To set each cell and capillary aflame as my soul bursts from its cell I listen to the music that will drown me. Like rushing tides that pull me beneath the caps and rolls of waves A crystal blue prison that will make me panic as I feel a darkness close around me Like winter to enfold me Like a night to claim me Like all the horrors you can imagine Like all that, but wonderful instead I think it’s wonderful. And I feel no shame in this. Only desperation when it goes and I cannot follow Only despair when I wake from haunting dreams and see the sun shining in my eyes To touch Heaven, to touch God My Heaven my God And then strip it away like flesh flayed from the skin Like a knife that cuts its tracks down my arm To feel fibers sever and muscle tear and nerves that scream Nerves that scream like I scream when my eyes open to this place Every moment of agony Every moment of it agony Books weigh like anchors on my feet To pull me t...
Read more

The Space that Fills the Time

-
I see myself through frosted glass A sensation not mirrored by the truth of the image I see myself something I am not Skilled beyond measure, I marvel when I fail Whose image have I taped to the twisted window that I fool myself so well? When the turning goes quick enough, when murky water clears, I shall throw myself free I wear the tension in my neck, a yolk for the oxen to struggle through the field I have tilled here And I have failed as well My disconnected thoughts have joined forces They smother me at night with a hypoallergenic pillow The simple thing that chains them here The guilt or The obligation Or any of many, minute causes I may not have ever told you But it didn’t mean you could never ask I live without meaning No, beyond this obsession with personal purpose I live without meaning Confession of depression A sin I cannot help My mind seeks to stretch my body to a point it will not go A wave pinned upon the sand I could, I think I could cut my head open to let it go I see...
Read more

There is no such thing as "racism"

-
Do you know what one of the main problems is with modern day society? We're taught not to discriminate based on race. And while that might seem like a good thing, and you might be rather outraged right now, the entire concept is fundamentally flawed. The problem is that teaching people this concept instills them with the idea that there is such a thing as "race." There isn't. "Race" is a socially construct based on a person physical appearance or geographic location. Genetically, there is no basic difference between one person and the next. Obviously, because we're all different, there are genetic deviations. But there is nothing to establish "race." There might be differences based on a person's ancestral geographic home, where an entire group of people gathered in a specific type of environment and procreated based out of a small genetic pool. And there might be physical differences because of those environments and the extensive amount o...
Read more

Oddworld

-
Ever notice that we eat soft pretzels with cheese, mustard, or ketchup but breadsticks with butter or marinara sauce? And while you might doubt it, the titles do actually have some sort of logical connectivity to the subject. Of course, it's a logical that only I'm aware of and probably one that only I could understand anyway.
Read more
-
Reposting this, thought it might be interesting. And you can leave comments now. Enjoy. I hate seeing movies with other people in the theater, except my friends. So the following is either things I hate or suggestions for making it better. You should be able to tell the difference. 1. Don't open packages of food during the movie. Open them ahead of time. You don't have to eat them right away, but it's annoying when you hear that stupid crackling sound. 2. When you do finish your snack, don't sit there and crumple the wrapping for the next hour of the movie. Just set it some where (like the seat next to you or the floor) and take care of it later. 3. Go to the bathroom before the movie starts. If you can't hold it for two hours, then sit on the end of the row so you don't have to walk in front of forty people going "excuse me, sorry, excuse me, sorry". It's obnoxious. 4. Do not ask questions about the plot. Movies generally tend ...
Read more

I am so very good at feeling sorry for myself.

-
Crayon Boxes I think I have died That you no longer care if I live This grave could be unmarked, for all the people who look at it and know I am here I am hunched At my desk in my favorite sweatshirt The hood lined with orange And the sleeves frayed, worn I have worn this sweater for so many years, though loved it half as long The orange does little to cheer me tonight As I have searched your name and found a new addition to your fame An expansion of your being I realize the knife is still there Because I can feel it twisting, fresh, in the wound I smell that change in the sweet spring air and regret that I am not there. These rhymes are happenstance and agony. It has been so long since I have written here, had the charge to write here, and as always, it is of a tragedy My tragedy Like a forgotten war, Like a villager, killed by a despot, who is survived by a child who grows up dreaming of nothing but the tyrant’s death (I don’t even care to draw the conclusion) I have a thousand songs...
Read more