I Am Weary Of My Burden. So I Lay It At Your Feet.

-

A Caution:
_____These words are not for you
_____They are for the Intended
_____The Stability
_____Who has yet to make an appearance
_____If you are unprepared for this Burden
_____We will both crumble under its weight
_____I say these words simply because they Demand to be said
_____And not because I want you to hear them

By Way of Introduction:
_____Ah, such foolishness was brewed this night that brings about these _____thoughts
_____But they command to be written and so I do
_____Ever a slave to the English language and all the sensual coaxing of _____the Word
_____And even as I write them, my mind fights the effects, adds to the _____effects and begs me to leave it be.
_____But, sigh, I never can
_____For in all the things I’ve ever learned
_____And they number many
_____I have never learned when, or how, to simply stop.

The Meat:
_____There is a drift
_____A tide
_____That ever pulls my car
_____It would be such an easy thing
_____To release the wheel
_____And slide into oblivion
_____And everyday, every time
_____I must fight the urge
_____All that dirt is just too tempting
_____The seductive curve

The Meet:
_____I know you worry about me
_____My words seem to betray something
_____So smooth they slither from my tongue
_____Gilded
_____I did not lie
_____I do not lie
_____About such things
_____I remain horrible
_____Though you don’t see why
_____And my words, though truthful, remain deceptive because of it
_____The words betray me
_____But it is so subtle
_____It is not the action I am trying to suggest
_____But rather the effect
_____The Influence
_____Because there is a release there
_____There is a moment
_____When the weight of my worries does not crush me
_____And when my mouth is not strong enough to remain barred against _____my thoughts
_____And I have tried to share it with you
_____But the opportunity keeps slipping you by

A Reference to Many Things:
_____I waved it in your face
_____And yet you did not see it
_____I am seeking a real connection
_____But I know it will not come
_____And I resign myself to this
_____Life without
_____The Guy
_____That will make me complete
_____Life without
_____The Friend
_____That I can give this all too

An Apology:
_____I was wrong
_____When I said
_____Though not to your face or ever in so many words
_____But simply in my heart
_____When I said
_____None of your relationships were real
_____I was wrong
_____For it is mine that remain fake and superficial
_____Because I am not real
_____I glide through this world only half awake
_____Because it hurts so much
_____And it would all be so easy
_____To disappear
_____To fade away
_____And only a stone to mark my presence
_____I know that I only have myself to blame
_____I wear too many lies
_____Too many faces
_____And who can get close to a creature like that
_____I am Just So Sick of having to Say and Act
_____To Force the Realization
_____Have I truly found No One who knows me enough to see when I _____struggle
_____But this is an Apology
_____And I have only myself to blame
_____For I know better than to level these expectations in your direction
_____And I am sorry for the pressure that I have thrown your way and _____the disappointment I have leveled on your shoulders
_____What right do I have to ask something of you I have never asked _____before
_____To ask the blind man the color of my eyes when he has never _____needed to know
_____And I am sorry
_____And I was wrong
_____And I have only myself to blame

A Plea:
_____I just want someone to see me. Without asking and without all the _____obvious connotation that this will bring. Why does it take so much _____to get someone to listen? How have I been able to get so far on _____my own? I ask, because I’m not sure I have the strength to do it _____anymore. And I need a reason and a hope because the grave is _____just too inviting. And I just want someone to see me. To _____understand. And I fear (and I Know) that no one ever will.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

-
OF ALL THE STUPID @#$%^*&(*%$#@!@#$^%&*((*&^%$#Q@$#$%&*^&()) I HATE when I do that. I accidently deleted everything I was working on. So I apologize 'cause I'm not writing it again. I'll give you the short version of everything I was gonna say. 1. Fear Factor has little to do with fear, it should be called Stunt Factor...and it sucks 2. Comedies are too sappy, but only some of them suck 3. My buddies at Cinescape don't suck, and here's a nice shout-out for them: Osirus, Jakester, Rosetta, Meathead, Skiv, Wallflower, Neglet, Fredcomics, Rexxax or Rezzax or something like that, umm......Daforce, Slamshut, LeiterCIA, and I know I'm missing a ton but in no way am I trying to diss you, I just have a really crappy memory 4. Had a nice little chat the other night got to talk to some great people, so shout out to them (Luigi, BeauBetabi aka Cool Guy, Mr. Black, and I think that's everyone who was from CA) 5. People I miss from CA: A...
Read more

There is no such thing as "racism"

-
Do you know what one of the main problems is with modern day society? We're taught not to discriminate based on race. And while that might seem like a good thing, and you might be rather outraged right now, the entire concept is fundamentally flawed. The problem is that teaching people this concept instills them with the idea that there is such a thing as "race." There isn't. "Race" is a socially construct based on a person physical appearance or geographic location. Genetically, there is no basic difference between one person and the next. Obviously, because we're all different, there are genetic deviations. But there is nothing to establish "race." There might be differences based on a person's ancestral geographic home, where an entire group of people gathered in a specific type of environment and procreated based out of a small genetic pool. And there might be physical differences because of those environments and the extensive amount o...
Read more
-
Image
So I took this quiz that I picked up from one of my friend's blog sites. It's interesting. Anyway, here are my results, I'm not gonna say whether I think they're acurate or not. I'll leave my opinion at "interesting". You can decide for yourself if you think it's right or not. You have wings of STEEL . No one's really sure why, but at this point in your life you've shut off emotion to the point of extreme apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of the time...or perhaps you're just a good pretender. Next to impossible to get close to, even those who do never see the real you. It's entirely possible that YOU don't even know the real you. You have a certain fascination or attraction to destruction on a massive scale - disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much inside, one day you're simply going to snap. Then the mask will fall away, and your true wings will be revealed. Until then...
Read more

The Razor

-
I know, I know. It remains the oddest freakin' thing about me. I'm terrified of sharks. More than terrified, really. And I can't watching them in movies (excluding Deep Blue Sea). But I love, LOVE watching documentaries about them. It's so entertaining. I think the main difference is intent. In movies, the sharks are given motives and motivation. They "want" to kill humans. They stalk their prey. And in documentaries, we're just following along with their natural behavior. As I've said before, I actually like sharks quite a bit. But I'm still scared to death of them. If for some reason, I ever ended up in salt water, just floating...? It's just....so terrifying that I can't even comprehend what my reaction would be. My brain would be stuck, overloading between panic and all the things I shouldn't do. And on top of that list is continuing with this particular topic. So right, in movies. There are so many flaws in these things and many ha...
Read more
-
I know, I know. It's been over a month since I posted. I'm sorry. Really! ... ... ... Okay, so not really. Not to mention, I did warn you all that I was now in Bad Internet Territory and I wouldn't be posting as much...at least, I think I warned you. Maybe that was someone else... Anyway, I posting now. So get over it. Plus Ringo has been bugging me about updating. Look I updated! Happy? No? Well, then it's probably got nothing to do with me. So: news: Ringo got a job. Yay! John went to London. Yay! John came back....not sure if that's a yay. I'll have to wait and see what she got me. Umm. Work is good. Home is...well, if you know me, then you know that answer to that. I'm good. Today's my birthday. The Pistons won the NBA Finals. Dogdeball is a really, really funny movie. What? What did I say a minute ago? Ummm...the Pistons won the NBA Finals? Before that? I'm good? Birthday? No, I didn't say anything about...
Read more

Spy vs. Spy

-
So I figure I should actually bother to say something of substance. Or at least something of the average amount of substance I usually offer. Although, perhaps I shouldn't go with "average" either. But anyway, something of substance. First off, I added a quote. You might notice that it's also the quote of the day, but only if you're reading this post on the day I post it. Otherwise the quote of the day obviously won't be the quote of the day. But let's move past the obvious. Sort of. Because the next thing I was planning on mentioning was both another "you might notice" and another "obvious." Anyway, it was "You might have noticed that I added a hit counter at the bottom of the right information column (not that there's a left information column)." Anyway, again, since no one ever leaves a comment, I figured now at least I'd get some chance to spy on the people spying on me. See, "Spy vs. Spy" makes sense. Al...
Read more

The Two Seperate Categories of Evil and Ken Jennings

-
So the other day, Saturday or something, I made a chocolate cake (Devil's food) and it was from a box, but it now has a full cup of pudding! Anyway, so I then added some chocolate chips, and made buttercream frosting, which is excellent by the way. And while I'm making this, from the point of getting out a stick of butter to the final frosting, Sara frequently reminds me that I'm evil, and I also remind her of that fact because I know how much she enjoys calling me evil. I think she is most fond of it right after I've handed her a no-longer needed utensil that is covered in either batter or frosting. But the point. Sara comments on how she's going to gather all of her self-control and not eat a bunch of it. Well, fortunately for her, I apparently am not immune to my own evil. The Cake is Gone. But now, on to Ken Jennings, who despite what you might be thinking, has no relation to the evil topic. I simply want to state that this man is much, much smarter than we all ...
Read more